im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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