There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
