Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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