like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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