There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
