i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
