Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize