White coat. Heels.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
