Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
