By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You are a genius and a whore.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
