I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
