I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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