Nicole vs. Life
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
