YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
