I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
