so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
