I wannas sexs uuuuu
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
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