Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
