My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize