By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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