is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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