just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
