how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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