So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
