I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
