do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Randomize
