It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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