I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
