If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
