I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
