grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize