The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
