I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
