That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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