He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
