Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He better not be in your backpack
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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