Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
