i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Randomize
