I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
