I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
