The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Pants are for mortals
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize