Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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