what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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