I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
