I hate your face
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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