my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
