You can't special order awesome
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
