this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Alive.
So much puke
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
