Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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