belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize