I can text with my tongue
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
