It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
