i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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