he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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