About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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