Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We got so high we made milksteak
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize