i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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