Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
