D3 body, D1 cock
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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