that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
