I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
