Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
