I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
