You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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