I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
