please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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