Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
